you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
