Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
