if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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