You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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