just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
