I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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