I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
