And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
