There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hippo gnu deer
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
