Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
