It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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