He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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