I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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