i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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