I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
