I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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