No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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