so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
