love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
