Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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