ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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