so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
