do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
