I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
