Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize