just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
dude. I can hear the air.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
