i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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