ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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