Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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