Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
