She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
