so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
This is the high leading the old right now
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
