So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So much Jack, so little girl.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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