He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
