zippers are such a cool invention
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
