Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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