We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The ass gains better be worth it
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