just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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