Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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