Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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