Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
did you just send me my own nude
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