Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
