Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
