My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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