I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize