I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
