I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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