How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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