Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
