You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
