absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
