Plan B is the new Plan A
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It was confusing and full of hummus
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
