Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize