do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
