lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
