he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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