is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
