Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Someone shit on the floor
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
