Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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