I just pynch a tree in the face
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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