Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
